


Don't you love me?

by who_seeks_shall_find



Series: Life as I see it [28]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Emotions, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I Love You, Imprisonment, Late Night Conversations, Making Love, Sex, Unresolved Tension, post-season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-05-31 16:39:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15123563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_seeks_shall_find/pseuds/who_seeks_shall_find
Summary: Oliver is released from prison and Felicity finds it hard to say "I love you, too" after everything. The night is a real emotional roller coaster.





	Don't you love me?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of a series about Oliver's imprisonment and a year after it. This drabble takes place in the night of Oliver's release from prison.
> 
> I'm going to write a series which will be updated once a day (if it's just possible). It's going to include 122 drabbles about Oliver, Felicity, William and other characters who are involved in their lives. It's going to take approximately four months to finish the series. The drabbles are linked to each other but they're NOT in a CHRONOLOGICAL order. That's why, there may also be gaps or blanks which are filled in later.
> 
> I wish that every character is respected without unnecessary hatred.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

It was late and William had gone to bed a long time ago. He was surely in a deep sleep already because it had been a long day with Oliver coming back to home from prison. Oliver and Felicity were sitting in the living room and Felicity was holding a half-empty wine glass. She was looking at the glass but she could feel how Oliver was staring at her. She didn’t want to look back at him but she wasn’t sure why. She wasn’t shy but she didn’t know how to act, either. 

At the same time everything and nothing had changed. They were still them and they both still were there alive. Yet, Oliver had spent over six months in prison and she had had to survive through her life with William when Oliver had been gone. 

A lot had happened and there were so many unresolved feelings and unsaid things but Felicity couldn’t bring herself to talk about them. She wanted to enjoy the fact that Oliver was finally physically there. Nevertheless, every unsaid word was like a barrier between them. She felt like she was far away from him. 

She kept playing with the wine glass and she looked down the whole time. She let out a deep sigh but she still didn’t turn her gaze back at Oliver. Suddenly, Oliver grabbed the wine glass and put it on the table. Felicity looked up because of the surprise. Then he took a hold on her hand. Oliver didn’t say a word but he tangled their fingers together and he brought their joint hands on his mouth. 

Then he pressed his lips softly on her inner wrist. It was such a simple act bit it sent shivers throughout Felicity’s body. Oliver stared at her with pleading eyes but Felicity wasn’t sure what he was asking for. She didn’t know whether he was asking for forgiveness or yelling at him. She couldn’t forgive him yet for making the unilateral choice but now she didn’t want to yell at him, either. 

She wasn’t sure what her next move should be but she lifted the hand, which Oliver wasn’t holding, and pressed her palm on his cheek. Oliver leaned on her touch and Felicity smiled at him softly but also tiredly. They didn’t dare to break the silence because neither of them were sure how it would affect everything. 

Felicity ran her hand on Oliver’s hollow cheeks and clenched jaw. He had been tensed since he came back to home. He was clearly walking on egg shells although Felicity didn’t want that. She wanted everything to be like it used to be. Yet, she knew that they couldn’t go back. Everything had to be made better in the future. 

Abruptly, a single tear escaped Oliver’s eye and dropped on Felicity’s hand which was still exploring every line on his face. Felicity looked at her husband worriedly but Oliver closed his eyes and shook his head. The act wasn’t meant to be a dismissal. It was about his regrets and Felicity’s heart broke a little for him, William and herself. All of them had carried the burden on their shoulders for the last six months. 

Felicity felt how her own tears were pooling in her eyes. She sniffed and Oliver opened his eyes. He looked at her straight into the eyes and squeezed her hand soothingly. He raised his other hand and brushed her cheek bone with his thumb. Felicity turned her gaze away because looking at him was just too much. It was almost painful. 

Oliver stopped her by lifting her chin gently. He whispered: “I need to see you.”

Felicity gulped but nodded. Oliver unknotted their fingers and cupped her face with his both hands. He brought her face closer but halted when there were only a few inches between their lips. Felicity’s breathing had hitched in her throat. Oliver asked permission to carry on with his eyes. He didn’t want to push her if she wasn’t ready. 

Felicity wasn’t sure what she was feeling. She was almost torn up because of all the emotions. They were drowning her while Oliver was still holding her face on his hands and the inches remained between their lips. Felicity could feel Oliver’s breathing on her face and she had to close her eyes. Soon she slightly nodded and blindly sought Oliver’s lips. 

The kiss was slow and Felicity could taste the salt from their tears. She ran her fingertips along his stubble as Oliver kept stroking her cheek bones with his thumbs. After a while, Felicity whimpered involuntarily because she needed more. She needed to get closer to him and she needed more of him. 

Felicity grabbed a hold on his collar and pulled him closer as she dropped herself on her back. When her back hit the couch cushions, she winced slightly but she didn’t let go of Oliver. Oliver pinned her between himself and the couch as he kept kissing her. 

He ran his tongue on lips and his hands were roaming over her neck, shoulders and arms but it wasn’t enough for Felicity. She wanted to feel his hands all over her body. She wanted him to touch every part of her -physical and emotional. She captured his lips more demanding and slipped her tongue inside his mouth. Oliver groaned softly and their tongues tangled together.

Felicity was the first one to break the kiss for oxygen and Oliver dropped his lips on her neck. He nipped at her pulse point and Felicity moaned. Oliver’s hands were still on her arms or shoulders but he didn’t touch anywhere else. Felicity wrapped her legs around his waist and arched her back for invitation. She was also glad to notice that she still had an effect on Oliver.

Yet, Oliver didn’t make a move to take it any further. Felicity was becoming frustrated so she cupped Oliver’s face and lifted his lips from her neck. She looked straight into his eyes and pleaded: “Please, Oliver.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

Felicity felt how a fresh wave of tears started streaming down on her cheeks. She was sure that she needed him and nothing else mattered. She didn’t need a gentleman tonight but she needed her husband. She knew that Oliver wanted to respect her but this was what she actually needed. She knew that Oliver had missed her, too. It was a mutual need. 

Oliver looked at her worriedly as she pressed her hips against him even more tightly. She simply repeated: “Please, Oliver.”

He hesitated for a while but soon he crashed his lips against hers violently. Now he was touching her everywhere. His hands roamed over her thighs and breasts. Felicity grabbed a hem of his shirt and tugged it upwards. Their lips parted for a split second when Felicity pulled his shirt over his head. Then her hands found his belt and she tried to unbuckle it but there wasn’t enough space for it.

Felicity let out a frustrated groan and Oliver chuckled against her collarbone which he was kissing. Oliver took a handful off her dress and with one movement he pulled it over her head. He flipped them around and now Felicity was on top of him. Immediately, Felicity’s hands found his belt buckle again and she almost ripped it off. 

Oliver let out a deep throat sound as Felicity touched the waist line of his trousers and boxer as she tugged them down. She peppered his naked waist line with small kisses but her mouth was travelling downwards. Oliver exhaled sharply when she ran her fingers on the base of his manhood. Felicity could hear how he snapped his mouth shut so he wouldn’t groan loudly.

Oliver’s fingers found her panties and he pushed them aside so he could bring his fingers closer to her core. Shivers ran on her spine once again and she knew what she wanted. She wanted all of him. Now. There was no time for anything else. She took a firm grip on Oliver’s upper arms and lifted her hips. Their bodies connected and they both moaned with pleasure.

This was the connection which was familiar to them even after months. It was full of passion and love. Nothing could ever change that. They found their pace and everything else disappeared. The whole world could have been destructed and they wouldn’t even notice as they kept going. 

“Oliver,” Felicity said under her breath when she was getting closer.

“Please, please, please,” she mumbled mindlessly.

“I got you, honey,” Oliver grunted.

Felicity bit her lip when she was almost there. Oliver panted and said behind his gritted teeth: “Let go, Felicity. I got you. Let go.”

Felicity dropped her upper body against Oliver’s chest and muffled her cries on his shoulder as she came. Oliver held her tightly against his chest through her orgasm while he kept going. It didn’t take long for him to find his own release.

“Felicity,” he breathed out as he came. It was like her name was a prayer.

They collapsed against each other and Felicity was sure that she had almost lost her consciousness. It had been so much better than she had remembered. Yet, now she was tired. The day had been long and it had been a real emotional roller coaster. Luckily, she didn’t get her husband back from the prison every day. 

Felicity let out a deep, content hum while she was drawing small circles on Oliver’s bare chest. Her head was resting on his chest where she could hear his heart beating. There was a complete silence between them although talking was characteristic for her. Surprisingly, Oliver was the first one to break the silence.

“I love you, Felicity,” he whispered.

Felicity turned her head so she could look at him into the eyes. She rested her chin on Oliver’s shoulder and she kind of panicked as she looked at him. Of course, she loved him but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. It felt like saying it back would have rendered her more vulnerable and fragile. She was scared.

She had just got him back after his unilateral choice which had crushed her world – no matter what his motives were. Ultimately, he had made his decision so he could protect her and William and she wasn’t angry with his motives. She was angry with him not coming to her with the whole situation. Yet, this wasn’t about not loving him and it wasn’t any kind of revenge. This was about her fears.

She decided to dodge the topic so she joked: “That’s the post-coital bliss.”

Oliver ran his thumb on her lower lip and he repeated with more determination: “I love you.”

It was like he needed to hear it back. He gazed at her with his blue eyes and Felicity knew that she loved him more than anything. She stammered: “I…”

Now Felicity could see panic in Oliver’s eyes as he asked: “Felicity?”

“I…” Felicity started again but she couldn’t say anything more. Her brain short-circuited.

Every line on Oliver’s face tensed and his jaw clenched. He exhaled sharply but he stayed rooted. Then asked with a broken voice: “Don't you love me anymore? Has it changed?”

Immediately, Felicity shook her head vigorously as she answered: “No, no, no, no, no. I do and it hasn't.”

“But?” Oliver said and he didn’t look relieved yet.

“There are no buts when that fact is considered,” Felicity reassured him and Oliver smiled at her tightly. 

She continued: “I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of?” Oliver asked with concern.

“Now I’m scared of loving you like I do,” Felicity blurted out although she wasn’t sure if it was the correct answer.

There were actually many things that she was scared of but tonight wasn’t the night to talk about all of them. She didn’t even recognize every emotion she was feeling or every fear she was having. She wasn’t in control now. Revealing everything, talking and forgiving were going to take a lot of time. They were going to need a lot of patience and understanding. They were going to have a long road ahead of them as a family.

“Felicity…” Oliver whispered and she could see more tears in his eyes. 

“We’re going to work through the this. We’re working through this,” Felicity said with a conviction and pressed her cheek on his chest again.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologized and stroked her hair soothingly.

“I know, Oliver,” Felicity mumbled.

“What can I do now?” he asked desperately.

“Now you can tell me about your time in prison,” Felicity said although she knew it wasn't what Oliver had meant with his question. She just didn’t want to talk about the latter topic anymore. 

Oliver understood that and he didn’t insist. He sighed deeply and started: “It wasn’t easy. Obviously, missing you and William was the hardest part. Then there were other inmates who didn’t have that many nice things to say about the Green Arrow. The guards weren’t exactly my fans, either.”

Then Oliver stopped for a moment and grabbed a blanket so he could cover their naked bodies. Felicity still leaned on his chest and Oliver pulled the blanket on. After that he went on: “Like I told on my letters, I had this deal with agent Watson. I participated missions and gave them tactical advice. It wasn’t ideal but it was my way to get back to you.”

When he stopped speaking, he pressed kiss on the top of her head. Felicity yawned and snuggled even closer to him. After a while, Oliver pleaded: “Tell me about your lives.”

“William was the strongest and bravest kid in the world. He kept me sane through everything,” Felicity admitted and she could feel Oliver’s proud smile against her temple.

Then Felicity tried to go on but her voice broke because of the painful memory. She sniffed and stammered: “I was sure that I was going to lose everything when William’s grandparents wanted his legal custody. We almost lost him.”

“Shhhhh. You did everything you could,” Oliver assured her as he held her even tighter if possible.

“I almost lost him,” Felicity whispered mindlessly.

“It didn’t happen. He’s here. You’re here. And finally, I’m here, too. I love you. William loves you. We both love you,” Oliver mumbled against her temple.

His words and her tiredness shattered her. She could never live without him again and she ended up repeating: “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

She kept going for quite some time and she wasn’t sure when she had stopped saying the words and drifted into sleep. She just woke up when she felt like she was moved. She was in Oliver’s arms and supposedly he was carrying her to the bedroom. 

He whispered: "Get back to sleep, Felicity.”

Felicity closed her eyes again and leaned her head on his shoulder. Finally, he was back at home.

**Author's Note:**

> Update for tomorrow:  
> Oliver has a bad habit of brooding. Sometimes, he just needs a pep talk from John Diggle.


End file.
